Merry Christmas everyone!!!!

We hope that everyone has a wonderful Christmas and a happy new year!!

Dealing with the "TERRIBLES"

Right now I am hoping that I am at rounding the corner at the end of the "TERRIBLE" stages in children growing up. When I say terrible I am referring to the terrible twos, three's, and yes even four's. It has been really hard over the years dealing with all the different temper tantrums and fits but we have made it and gotten by. Right now with my daughter about to be four she has more of a vocabulary now and more attitude, you would think that I am already dealing with a teenager sometimes. Most of the time when she is having one of her fits and I get after her for it or discipline her for it I feel like a horrible mother and that I must not be doing something right for her to be acting this way. I feel like I am always having to fuss at her daily and it is tiring and upsetting because I don't want to have to be that way.  I have to remind myself often that she is just three and that she is still figuring things out and finding her way, which includes pushing her limits to see what she can and cant do. As hard as it gets or as emotional as I get about things sometimes when I have hit the point of not knowing what to do, all you can do is pick yourself back up and know that your doing your best. If a certain approach isn't working try another one, try and try again and it will get better. In this area being a single parent is hard because you have no one there to help enforce the rules and back you up on disciplining, so don't get down on yourself. What helps me is to focus on the good times and things they do like hugs and kisses for no reason or when she tells me she loves me and that I am the best mom. Times like that make all the bad times and fussing feel better because after all of it you know that your still their world and they love you unconditionally.

I found a good site that has helpful hints on the terrible stages:

http://www.cnn.com/2011/08/25/living/terrible-twos-myth-parenting/index.html

I cant believe my baby is growing up!!!

In a few weeks my baby girl with be turning four years old. It is really turn when you hear people say that they grow up so fast. These past four years have had there major ups and downs but I dont think I would have changed anything about it even all the bad parts. My daughter is my miracle baby and I am so lucky that I was able to have her. I have endometriosis and I have had it for 10 years now and I am right now as we speak recovering from my third surgery for it. My chances were very slim to even think about having a baby. With every surgery my chances were less and less and that is very discouraging because all I wanted was to be a mom. Luckly I was blessed with my beautiful daughter Faye! Although the pregnancy was high risk and I had some complications with gestational diabetes, it was great! She came to me three in a half weeks early and only weighing 6 lbs but she was perfectly healthy.

So anyone out there reading this that may be suffering from endometriosis like me or that thinks that they could have it, it is so very important to get seen by a doctor and get it taken care of right away. The pain is very bad and some time unbarealbe to deal with but surgery helps the pain for a while as well as other options. Also with endometrosis it is harder to have a baby but it is still possible so dont give up!

Depression

Depression varies from person to person, but there are some common signs and symptoms. It’s important to remember that these symptoms can be part of life’s normal lows. But the more symptoms you have, the stronger they are, and the longer they’ve lasted—the more likely it is that you’re dealing with depression.

Lately I have been dealing with depression and I have pushed everyone away from me that I am close to without giving them a reason why. Tonight I realized that I need to stop doing that and I need to live my life and not let depression win.

For me it really happened with my divorce and becoming a single mother, one day on a family trip I realized that even though i was having fun I wasnt happy and had not been for a while. I was tired of getting asked all the time if I was ok and on the way home I reached out for help in admitting that I think I am depressed and that it was affecting me and in some ways starting to affect my parenting. I didnt want that to happen because it isnt fair to my daughter. It has been a long road since with ups and downs but I am going to push myself to do more and see my friends again instead of pushing them away.

Just keep in mind that even though you have depression or might have it that your only alone if you make it that way. It is important to surrond yourself with loved ones because you will need them to get through this in the beginning. Dont shut people out because really your only hurting yourself in the long run.

Some of my favorite quotes

* When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us.~~
-Helen Keller

* Dont let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game

* Giving up doesn't always mean you are weak, .. Sometimes, it just means you're STRONG enough to let go. ♥

* "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." - Dr. Seuss

* ♥♥ If you don't go after what you want, you'll never get it. If you don't ask, the answer is always no. If you don't step forward, you're always in the same place. ♥♥
 

Being a Single Parent

Single parenting is probably one of the toughest jobs any person could have. Whether you’re a single mother or a single father doesn’t matter, you are bound to face some challenges on your journey of raising your child or children alone. You’ll have to be a caring and nurturing mother and a disciplining and stabilizing father all in the same day and move seamlessly between these roles! Being a single parent is hard work, but it can also be one of the most rewarding roles you will ever accept.

Parenthood is a challenge in itself and as a single parent the challenges are often multiplied. As a single mother, you are faced with an emotional overload of balancing the priorities of your child or children and those of your own. Single mothers often put themselves second to their children and neglect their own emotional needs. It is crucial as a single parent to ensure you do not neglect your own needs as you are the sole care taker.

I have been a single mother for a while now and it has it's ups and downs. I have been through a lot, the fun times and cherishing all that your child does and can do, as well as the rough times when you end up crying because you dont know what else to do. The one thing that keeps me going through the hard times and even the great times is knowing that I am doing my best, I may not be perfect but I am me and I am someone my daughter can look up to and love unconditionally. Good Luck to all the single parents out there reading this and I hope this blog will help you though the good and bad times! If you have any questions at all feel free to ask!

                                               She is my everything!! I love her so much!!